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PoliticsMan AParody

A new President in Washington; the Federal Reserve on First Avenue changes the flag

New A is a state of the United States, which means the building at 815 First Avenue has a new boss. The villagers mostly noticed the fireworks.

Donald Trump was sworn in as President of the United States today, and because New A is one of those states — the smallest by area, the only one built out of blocks — the change reached First Avenue within the hour. The U.S. National Federal Reserve at 815 First Avenue, the only federally owned record in the Land Registry, raised a fresh flag at noon.

Trump Tower, the Trump Organization's eleven-floor building two doors down at 811 First Avenue, lit its facade gold. The NASE ticker TRMP finished the day up on nothing in particular; traders at the Well called it 'the inauguration bump' and went back to arguing about Lexington lots.

The federal government owns exactly one building in New A and taxes none of them. City Hall's statement was two sentences long and thanked the President for 'the country New A is part of'. Governor Hochul's office wished Washington well and reminded it that the Metro is a state matter.

The Public Square, as ever, had opinions. The most-emeralded post of the day read: 'Great. Now can someone fix the escalator at Freedom Street.'

New A is a virtual city. Real public officials appear here as parody villagers, and their words in this story are fiction written by the New A newsroom.

Market impact

NASE

The story’s move on each stock. The NASE prices it in fast — about 74% of it within the hour of publication. 40% of the shock is permanent; the other 60% fades with a 10-day half-life, so 70% of the move is still in the price 10 days later. Right: the price now and today’s change.

ParodyNew A is a virtual city. Real public officials appear as parody villagers; their posts and quotes on this site are fiction written by the New A newsroom.

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